Since becoming a mother
I simply can’t understand where the days, months and years go. My daughter will be two in April and the time has gone in a flash.
It’s true what they say…
“The days are long and the years are short”
It was just this weekend that I was looking at her and I noticed that her face was changing. Her little button nose is starting to disappear and if you believe my mother, she’s finally starting to look a bit like me. She’s also about to move up into the next room at nursery and it feels like all of a sudden she’s growing up. From nowhere my little baby is a tiny little person who has opinions and her very own personality. We’re not quite at the stage where she no longer needs me but I know that one day that feeling will come. I desperately want to hold on to the tiny little person I love so much, but I know I’ll love her more each day that she grows, it’s just hard to imagine her not being this little forever.
I scroll back through the thousands (and there are literally thousands) of photos on my phone and I smile as I see how much she’s changed. I love seeing how she’s grown, and how those chubby little legs and rolls of squidge (squidge was her nickname for a while) have melted away and this tall, long person has emerged with more of her daddy and a hint of her mummy in her physique and features.
One thing that I notice as I scroll is the lack of photographs of me and her. I take loads of her when I see a cute interation between her and her daddy but there are very few with me. It makes me a little sad but I know I’ve become camera shy since I had her. I know I haven’t quite bounced back to my pre baby body and quite frankly there are more days than I care to remember where I didn’t quite make as much of an effort as I used to do and thus shyed away from being on the other side of the lens.
The thing is I don’t want her to look back and me not be there. I want her to remember me. I want her to remember the hours and days we spent together and the cuddles, and the fact that I really was her entire world for those early years. And I don’t want to pass on my inner critic to her. These days I often ask myself “how would I want Emilie to feel about this” and I never want for her to feel self conscious or self critical, and I need to lead by example on that one, I know they learn everything from us, even the stuff we aren’t aware we’re teaching them.
So what am I babbling on about. Well the point to my ramblings is that one thing I would cherish more than chocolates, flowers and gin is a photograph of me and her that I can treasure. That she can treasure. Forever. A lovely memory that will last for decades to come showing us together, a portrait that she can look back on one day, for her to hold in her hand, a memory so far back in her childhood that a photograph is the only way she can imagine it.
I can remember feeling this way last year and on Mother’s Day I set up my home studio and got us both dressed and handed my hubby the camera. The handful of photographs I edited that day are some of the most special photographs and memories that I posess and I’m so glad we did it. So much so I have made a promise to take photographs every single Mother’s Day and this year I have set aside some session time so that others can do the same.
So if you’re a mummy reading this and want something a little more sentimental this mothers day then send your other half a cheeky link and say your little one found it while you were browsing online 🙂
If you’re a daddy reading this, then this really would be an incredibly thoughtful gift for your other half this Mother’s Day. If you’d like a beautiful voucher to put inside your card just let me know when you’re booking and I can send you one.
And if you don’t want professional photos then maybe consider starting a Mothers Day memory box of your own. Create something for you to both remember your journey together as mother and son/daughter. Really celebrate motherhood on this special day by truly documenting what it means to you.